What an eleven-year-old travelling alone taught me about fear, identity, and building spiritual muscle memory.
When you know whose you are, who you are, and carefully follow His directives, you will find yourself able to face obstacles and step past fear.
Isaiah 41:8–10 says:
“But you, Israel, My servant,
Jacob whom I have chosen,
Descendant of Abraham My friend,
You whom I have taken from the ends of the earth,
And called from its remotest parts
And said to you, ‘You are My servant,
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’”
This passage is only one of many places in Scripture where the Lord both reassures us and exhorts us:
I am with you. Do not fear.
When I asked the Lord what He wanted to speak to me about through these verses, almost immediately I remembered when I started taking voice lessons around the age of eleven.
My parents only had one car and as my dad worked shift work, he needed that car to get to and from work. That meant I had no choice but to take public transportation, as it was too far to walk.
For about the first month, my mother assigned my eldest brother to accompany me. His job was to show me the ropes: which bus to take, where to transfer, and, along the way, give me a few street smarts.
Within a couple of weeks, I felt totally comfortable; in fact, I thought the whole thing was a grand adventure.
Then came the day when my older brother was released from his duties, and I was on my own.
Now, before you get on my mother’s case, this was a totally different time. Neighbours watched out for each other’s kids. Everybody on my block knew who I was, who I belonged to, and probably had a pretty good idea where I should be at any given time.
Even on the bus, there were people who subtly watched out for me and any other stray children who happened to be travelling alone. It wasn’t an uncommon sight back in the day.
But there were some things my mother and my older brother drilled into me: when you get on the bus, tell the driver where you’re going, ask for two tickets and a transfer, and sit near the bus driver.
My street-smart older brother also taught me that while I was waiting for my transfer, I should stand near an adult woman, and my mother gave me another instruction: if I started feeling nervous, I wasn’t to anxiously look around. I should distract myself by reading my book, looking over my music, or doing something else that would keep my attention occupied.
She also reminded me that my singing teacher knew I was coming and would be watching out for me.
So every Saturday morning, I’d march down the street rehearsing my little mantra:
Two tickets and a transfer, please.
I’m pretty sure I sang it to the bus driver rather than spoke it because I’d rehearsed it so many times in my mind.
I’d tell the driver where I was going and sit where I had been instructed to sit; if somebody was sitting in the spot where the driver wanted me, he’d politely ask them to move.
Then we’d be on our way.
I’d get off at the right place to transfer to the next bus, and even though the wait was only two or three minutes, I’d always stand near an adult woman, just as my brother had taught me.
I knew whose I was, I knew where I was going, and I knew what to do along the way.
So where am I going with this?
I believe God repeats Himself again and again throughout the Bible because He wants His truths and instructions to become so ingrained in us that they become something like spiritual muscle memory, ready to bubble back up to the surface when we need them.
That’s what my mother and brother were doing for me: they weren’t pretending there was absolutely nothing that could go wrong; they were preparing me so I would know what to do if I became unsure or afraid.
If you can relate to this, perhaps it’s time to build some spiritual muscle memory of your own. Fill yourself with Scripture before you need it, becoming familiar with what God says about who He is, who you are, and what He has promised.
Before God tells His people not to fear, He often reminds them who they are and whose they are.
You are My servant.
I have chosen you.
I have not rejected you.
And then:
Do not fear, for I am with you.
He doesn’t leave it there either:
I am your God.
I will strengthen you.
I will help you.
I will uphold you.
God repeats these truths numerous times throughout His word. He keeps reminding His people who we are, who He is, and what He has promised to do.
Perhaps we need that repetition more than we sometimes realize.
We need truth to become so familiar that when we find ourselves facing an unfamiliar situation, we aren’t starting from scratch. Scripture we’ve read, prayed, meditated on, and tucked away suddenly comes bubbling back to the surface.
Then, when you’re faced with a situation and you’re not quite sure what to do, you’ll have an immediate resource of biblical truth to draw from.
And perhaps there’s something else my mother taught eleven-year-old me that is worth remembering: don’t anxiously look around.
Keep your eyes focused on Christ.
Remember whose you are, remember where you’re going, and remember that you aren’t travelling alone.
Do not fear, for I am with you.
He is your God. He is your strength.
And He is with you.
Until next time,
Kath